Get Your Tea with Tee- The “Come Up”


My plan was to discuss a completely different topic this month. I was halfway done with my article, but I had to address this instead. You see, there’s been too much. Too much degrading and disrespect towards black women and it can no longer be ignored.

There’s been a shift in our community. A negative shift and it needs to end. We as black women are subjected to outrageous forms of racism on a daily basis. Whether it is verbal or non-verbal, it’s something that we’re forced to deal with. However it’s a crying shame when black men decide to join the club and degrade us. It’s downright blasphemous!

“I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just sending a message that US REAL MEN SEE THE BULLSH-T AND IF he decides to rock with you, it’s just cause they wanna get one off. No one will EVER take you serious like that or really make that move…..cause you look like a manufactured clown.”  Tyrese Gibson, twitter rant, 2017.  (Interesting, did we look like “clowns” or “bullsh-t” before or after the black community read you to filth after attempting to crown your wife as “black queen?”)

It should go without saying but for the sake of this article, let’s make it clear. Without the black woman there is no black man. Let me “make it plain”; without us, there is no you. The family unit is the essence in every culture, especially in our community. With every obstacle we face on a daily basis, it would be simple logic for, not just the black community but for the parental unit, to be as solid as Fort Knox. Nothing should be able to infiltrate that unit. However rather than uniting with the black woman, you, black men disrespect the mothers of the young children. Instead of loving the black woman, you degrade us at every given opportunity. With all of this to bear, you, black man, choose to date, marry and create families with anyone that is not black.

I want to take a moment to address the black men that continue to love us, stick by us, date, marry and create families with us, we love you. We appreciate you. This article is not directed toward you.  

The answer is simple brother, most of the sisters were raised in broken homes, and they don’t have proper guidance to how they should treat a man, so they mess up a lot in relationships, the biggest difference is a white woman knows her position and accepts her role as a woman and let her man lead. Black women believes it’s 50/50 and you have to be uneducated to ever think such a thing, black women are stubborn, closed minded, and always want to argue and be the boss, men don’t like that shit , especially if you’re successful, young, black athletes are looking for a woman to submit do they part, and they handle business. Men needs peace of mind, and you don’t get that with black women.”  Redskins player, Lyndon Antonio Trail, rant, 2017.

There are tons of others who have taken this very same stance. Apparently “the position” that black woman should play is naïve, to the ways of Lyndon and so many others. And when we decide not to accept the negative behaviors or cheating, we’re disgraced and/or passed over. Now the positions most of us are left to play are; single mothers, entrepreneurs, students and leaders. While you, black man have traded and betrayed us, all for the sake of the “come up”.

I want to take another moment to make another disclaimer to anyone, particularly any black males that may attempt to dispute the statements thus far. Some may attempt to say, “black women date outside of their race too.” Let me respond blatantly, this article isn’t addressing that, it’s addressing you, black man!

One of the final things that I want to make clear, racism cannot be cured or eliminated by interracial dating, love or marriage. This is not my opinion. This is a fact. If simply being with someone of another race would “cure” or “eliminate” racism, racism would have been during the Thomas Jefferson’s era. I mean, wasn’t it he that had a number of children with his female slaves? The only thing that’s being eliminated is us. After all, what do you think is happening with all of the interracial children of this world? Why are there so many young people struggling to identify with one race or another? It most certainly has nothing to do with curing or eliminating racism.

So many people will continue to deny the correlation with any of this and say that love knows no color. If that is true, if so many of these black men are so in love and happy with the women they’ve chosen, why is there a need to disgrace, disrespect and degrade us? What is the point of a celebrity male speak ill on black women and their hair and body? He, like many others, made their choice and it spoke volumes. The good news about this is that we are no longer your concern. The one thing that these men forgot is how we persevere.  You, black man must remember that there is no you without us. And if you somehow forget or choose not to acknowledge it, don’t worry. During that “come up”, you’ll be reminded on your way back down.

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